Putting up an antenna

Down The Hill and Across the Road

Putting up the TV antenna

Remember when every house you passed had a T V antenna on the roof?  All those antennas have been replaced by satellite dishes. Well, back when Shirley and I hadn’t been married for very long we moved to an old farm house in the Southwest Missouri Ozarks. We had “Rabbit Ears” that set on the top of the TV. With the only television stations being in Springfield which was over thirty miles away, reception was at best awful. We decided we better put up an outside antenna. So, with limited funds and a good amount of stupidity we were ready to begin the installation of our outdoor antenna. We purchased an antenna. We needed to get the antenna as high in the air as possible. Our place was a small farm and also had been a service station and garage at one time. I thought surely I could find enough material lying around the place to complete the project. Behind the garage I found a very long piece of one inch galvanized pipe. I was sure this would work to put our new antenna high in the air. Yes, I was sure we would have the best television reception in our area. I took the pipe around to the north side of the old two story house. The pipe reached above the highest point of the roof. With the brackets that came with the antenna it was easy to mount the antenna to the upper end of the pipe. Since the pipe would reach from the ground to a height above the roof there was no need for me to climb up on the roof. My plan was to raise the antenna mounted to the pipe and hold it against the side of the house and then climb up and fasten it to the fascia on the upper gable. There was one problem we faced….we didn’t have a ladder. I thought just maybe there might be a ladder here some place. After much looking I found an old wooden ladder under some hay in the barn. I dug the ladder out from under the hay and brought it up to the house. The ladder didn’t look all that sturdy yet it didn’t look that bad. The question was how do I hold the antenna pipe in place while I climb the ladder and fasten the pipe to the roof. After surveying the area I realized the pipe would need to go right by the bathroom window.  I could double a piece of binder twine and tie it around the pipe and run it through the window of the bathroom. With Shirley standing in the bathroom holding the binder twine tightly everything would stay in place while I climbed the ladder and fastened the pipe permanently to the house. I got everything in place. I gave Shirley specific instructions “please do not let go of that binder twine”  “No matter what happens don’t let go of that binder twine”. I leaned the ladder against the house it didn’t reach as high as I would have liked. With my hammer nails and metal band in hand I started up the ladder with last instructions to Shirley “don’t let go of that binder twine”. I reached the point where I could bend the metal band around the pipe and nail it to the fascia. As I was bending the strap around the pipe, suddenly my whole world changed in the blink of an eye. I heard a snap I dropped about eight inches, then I turned loose the hammer as something struck me terribly hard right between my legs. I was astraddle the ladder rungs breaking them one by one with a very tender part of my body as I was falling to the ground. As I passed the bathroom window I heard this loud laughter. I struck the ground with a thud! As I lay there on the ground pulling up weeds in terrible pain and agony, I thought Shirley please don’t let go of the binder twine. That whole thing will fall on me and I will be hurt even worse.

When the laughter stopped and I recovered enough to be able to barely walk, Shirley and I took the antenna back down gently. After some more recovery time mixed in with an occasional giggle from Shirley. I went to her Mom and Dad’s and barrowed a GOOD ladder. We then installed the antenna which provided excellent reception. Within a month I was as near recovered as was possible for one suffering that kind of injury I  had experienced. As far as I know there have been no lasting effects from my injury.

Jim Gray

2018

Peculiar Mo